Sick days

Man it is so hard being sick!   I love the snow but I HATE cold weather!! Does anyone else have to deal with pain during the winter time? I have arthritis from my jaws all the way down to my toes and I just have been having such a hard time moving in the morning and at night with this weather.  And it’s not only the weather, One day I had bleeding for no reason at all…I was just bleeding out of my hands and arm and I could not find the reason why! I hate when weird things happen like that and  never get an answer why.

I know a lot of people see my strong side but everyone needs to know I DO have a weak side to me!! lol…  Here you can see part of that weak side…

 I am so tired of having to wait on disability!! I am so tired of always being sick!! I am so tired of Doctors looking at me like if I make things up, I am so tired of not being able to do things and people think I am just pretending to be sick to get out of things but at the same time I am tired of everyone putting that lable on me as the sick person. I am so tired of everyone reminding me that I am sick! I am so tired of not being able to move and grab things when I want to, I am so tired of not being able to  see out of my right eye, I am so tired of walking and then all of a sudden I lose the use of my legs, I am so tired of not being able to go to sleep because my spine hurts, I am so tired of not being able to drive and get to places by myself!! I am so tired of having DR BILLS!!! I am so tired of pain in every inch of my body, I am so tired of having 12different meds to take!! I am so tired of not being able to work and NEVER HAVING MONEY!!, I am so tired of not being able to be the kind of housewife I want to be, I am so tired of watching everyone move right along with their life and I AM NOT ABLE TO! I am so tired of watching people waste their life away for no reason and I CANT move on with life!!  I am so tired!!!!!! ALL THE TIME I AM TIRED!!!!! 

 Okay, there you have it…I am tired….but I am so glad I have a God that is always there for me and he knows what I am going through, just like he knows what you are going through. He can help us with anything if we just let him take control of our lives! He loves us no matter what we think. We go through things for a reason and we have to remember to praise God in those storms!! It’s so much easier to praise him through easy times in our life, but its harder to praise him through storms like my storm above. We are here on this earth to praise him, we aren’t even here to have the perfect life. If everything was perfect all the time why would we need him?? I know that sounds bad but its the truth! If you are having a hard time in your life please praise the Lord, If you are having good times in your life Praise the Lord!! Have faith that he is going to take care of us. Thats why I am able to wake up everyday and get out of bed…even though it takes me like 5hours to move without pain! I know God is there through it all!! And he is never going to leave me!    

New year!

Man, its SOOO cold outside!! I hate the cold weather!!! 

 I remember when I was a little girl I used to always love winter, it would always snow and we would go outside and have snowball fights and make snowmen….But I always paid for it later!!  I would not last long outside with the rest of my siblings, my body would ach and ach. I didn’t comprehend that it was the cold weather doing it to my body!  I have arthritis in my whole body, you name a joint and I have it it there! 

 I was really loving this winter, up until a couple days ago!!  It’s so cold outside now, and waking up is like the wrose thing ever!!! I don’t want to go to sleep because I know I will have to wake up and I wont be able to move for a couple of hours. Well I will be able to move but it will hurt!!! 

 I guess I will just have to take that extra time and lay there and pray, God really knows how to get me slow down!!!

 I want to slow down a lot this year!  I have always been the type to go go go and only think about myself when I get really bad off, but I can’t do that anymore!!   I have been sitting here thinking about all the things I need to work on in 2008 and I really want God to help me with these things. I have never been the type to come up with something I need to work on throughout the year because I didn’t think I would really follow through with it, but I have been thinking about it and I know that there are lots of things that I need to change.  I know God loves me the way I am but he doesn’t want me to stay that way. He wants me to better myself and he tells us “In everything you do work at it as if working for the Lord”  And I know working on bettering ourself is one thing we should work on, if not for yourself, then you can do it for the Lord!  

I also I want to start writting down my prayers to the Lord, I love to look back at how things turned out. Its so easy to forget what the Lord has blessed us with. We are always wanting something but we can’t remember what we have gotten.  I used to write my prayers down before Brent was walking with the Lord and I used to be so upset and praying that God would change him and the next thing I know God changed him inside and out and I forget that sometimes. I look at my jounal, page after page after page, talking to God and asking him to just change him and praising God and claiming it done….and after 3years its so easy for me to forget all of that.  I still want to praise him for what he has done!!

 Well I hope all of you have a Blessed year!!!

Dream

Have you ever had a dream you just can’t seem to get out of your head?  Well I had a dream like that the night before last night.

I had a dream that I got my eye sight back and I was crying so hard and I was so happy and I was running around telling everyone about my eye sight coming back and no one was excited, not even my husband! He was saying yes babe I know, thats good….and I was like but you don’t understand I finally got my eye sight back!! And I heard something dripping and I woke up and it was raining outside and I guess I heard the rain dripping by the window….but anyway I didn’t think about the dream until about 30mins after I was awake….I was sitting at the computer trying to get my eyes to focus…sometimes it takes awhile for me to see stuff and I remembered my dream and I was so upset that it was only a dream!

I haven’t seen out of my eye since I was ummm…I think 17, so thats about 5years!!  I normally can’t remember what it’s like to see out of both eyes but in the dream I really could see out of both eyes and I think now I want to see more than ever before!

I think I had that dream because I went to the eye doctor about 2weeks ago and they told me I will never see out of that eye again unless God has other plans, and I have been having a lot of problems with my eyes.

I have been having eye problems my whole life!! I have been going to the eye doctor since I have been 5years old and when I was 13 they finally found the disease that tries to control my life. (I wont let it!)

But I have to say I am very blessed that I’m able to keep my eye ball and I can still see out of my left eye.  Sometimes we really don’t realize how blessed we are until we lose something! We should count our blessings more often!!!  Well thats my thoughts as of the moment!

(Don’t feel bad for me, and I MEAN IT!!)   I never really told people about my sickness until this past year because I didn’t want people to think “poor Sabrina” I know I am in God’s will and he wants the best for me,  I am going through all of this for a reason and I can’t wait to see the out come of it all!!

Well thanks for reading my blog!! Leave me comments

In the Arms of Jesus

I am sure you are all wondering why my main blog title is “In The Arms Of Jesus”. Well… When I was like 9 years old I had a dream. In that dream I was walking in the desert and I looked really sick and Jesus came and picked me up and he held me in his arms and we started to walk towards some people. They looked rough and you could tell they needed Jesus in their life. Jesus put me down and I walked over to the crowd of people and grabbed someone’s hand and walked them over to the Lords side. I was still really sickly looking and then Jesus picked me up, and I saw the same thing happen over and over again, but each time it was a different person.

I have been sick with Sarcoidosis since I was born. I had always seen it as a stronghold in my life and I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do or the things I felt like the Lord had called me to be/do. As I got older the Lord reminded me of that dream a couple of times. Then I started to notice a little pattern!! No, Sarcoidosis is not who I am, and it is not a stronghold in my life either!! I do know I have this disease for a reason and I want to glorify the Lord in ALL things!! Including this awful disease. I know through this disease God will use me to bring people to him.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)